Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
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Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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