does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize