Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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