I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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