and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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