I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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