Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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