You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
