1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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