i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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