that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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