he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
