babies were throwing up all over the place
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
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I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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