his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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