I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
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steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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