please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
