how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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