i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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