I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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