he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
