i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
