Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize