He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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