is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
