haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
