she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Enjoy the penises
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
