Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
