Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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