dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
