So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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