That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
