I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
