just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
