my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
