how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
