There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
