dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.