He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying