There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
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He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.