Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again