Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
