he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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