i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
