i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize