just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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