please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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