I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This baby is an asshole
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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