At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
