where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
