8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
