South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
