I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Shame is for Republicans.
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