she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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