Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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