marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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