Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
