As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
