1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
