can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
