went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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